In Cadiz, Ohio, a preacher was summoned to the hotel to make an expectant
couple one. In the course of the preliminary inquiries the groom was asked
if he had been married before, and admitted that he had been--three times.
"And is this lady a widow," was also asked, but he responded promptly and
emphatically, "No, sir; _I never marry widows_."


81. A GOOD SALE

Several years ago there resided in Saratoga County a lawyer of considerable
ability and reputation, but of no great culture, who had an unusually fine
taste in paintings and engravings--the only evidence of refinement he
ever exhibited. A clergyman of the village in which he lived, knowing his
fondness for such things, introduced to him an agent of a publishing house
in the city who was issuing a pictorial Bible in numbers. The specimen
of the style of work exhibited to the lawyer was a very beautiful one,
and he readily put down his name for a copy. But in the progress of the
publication the character of the engravings rapidly deteriorated, much
to the disgust of the enlightened lawyer. The picture of Joseph, very
indifferently done, provoked him beyond endurance, and seizing several of
the numbers he sallied forth to reproach the parson for leading him into
such a bad bargain. "Look at these wretched scratches," said he, turning
the pages over, "and see how I have been imposed upon! Here is a portrait
of Joseph, whom his brethren sold to the Egyptians for twenty pieces of
silver; and let me tell you, parson, _if Joseph looked like that it was
a mighty good sale_!"


82. TRIUMPHS OF MEDICINE