A priest was called upon by a superstitious parishioner, who asked him to
do something for her sick cow. He disclaimed knowing anything about such
matters, but could not put her off. She insisted that if he would only
say some words over the cow, the animal would surely recover. Worn out
with importunity, he seized his book in desperation, walked around the
four-legged patient several times, repeating in a sonorous voice the Latin
words, which mean, "If you die, you die; and if you live, you live," and
rushed off disgusted. But the woman was delighted, and sooth to say the cow
quickly recovered.

But in time the good man himself was taken sick, and grew rapidly worse.
His throat was terribly swollen, and all medical aid was exhausted. The
word passed around the parish that the priest must die. When Bridget heard
the peril of her favorite pastor she was inspired by a mighty resolve. She
hurried to the sick-room, entered against the protest of the friends who
were weeping around, and with out a word to any one with her strong hands
dragged his reverence's bed to the middle of the floor, and with the exact
copy of his very gestures and voice marched around the bed, repeating the
sonorous and well-remembered Latin phrase, "If you die, you die; and if you
live, you live." The priest fell into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, and
in his struggle for breath and self-control the gathering in his throat
broke and his life was saved!

Mighty are the triumphs of medicine!


83. TIT FOR TAT

An old fellow in a neighboring town, who is original in all things,
especially in excessive egotism, and who took part in the late war, was