after my healing, began to make preparations for the wedding. I was fully
submitted to the Lord on the question of matrimony; but as my life had been
running along in such a pleasant, even course, and as I had been having my
own way in nearly everything, I felt that God was going to let me have my
way in this matter also, when to my surprise, God made clear to me that I
should not marry. He showed me that he had chosen me for himself, and that
he had first right. He brought to my mind such scriptures as this: "Thy
maker is thy husband; the Lord of Hosts is his name." As I submitted, the
Lord did not leave me comfortless. He showed me that I was not able to
fulfil both the mission he had given me, and the life that I had
contemplated.

For so long a time now since my call to the gospel work I had been at home
enjoying the companionship of my mother and of my brothers and sisters,
doing the little things that God had given me to do, and feeling the
approval of God upon my soul, I had failed to seek God earnestly to see if
he would have me move out in active gospel work. In May of the year 1882,
my brother Jeremiah, who had been out in the active ministry, returned
home. One day he said to me, "Mary, did not the Lord call you to preach his
gospel?" "Yes," I replied. "Has he not shown you that that is your future
work?" "I thought he had in the past, but it is not clear now." "Do you
want to know why it is not clear to you now?" My brother then showed me
that I had not been as diligent as I should in seeking to know God's will
in the matter, that I had taken too much for granted that the Lord would
have me continue doing as I had been for the past seven years. He asked me
to pray about going with him into the work at that time. I did as he
requested; but, as I was not anxious for an answer, did not pray earnestly
enough, and as a result, no answer came.

It was not long until Jeremiah asked me if I had prayed about my going with