him into the work. I answered that I had, but when he asked me what the
Lord had shown me, I was obliged to say, "Nothing." "Well," he replied, "As
you are not decided I suppose I would better go right on to the meeting of
the holiness association at Salisbury and not wait for you." Seeing that my
brother was not satisfied with my answer, I again went to prayer. This time
I called upon God with all my heart; and the Lord showed me that I could go
into the ministry and be saved or I could stay at home and lose my soul.

Doubtless no young minister, no matter how consecrated he may be to the
will of God, finds it easy to take his first step in gospel work. I was no
exception to the rule. Twice already when I arose in the public assembly to
bear witness to God's dealings with me, my testimony became an exhortation,
and God spoke through me to the edification of the people; but I had so far
done no preaching, and now that I had reached the decision to go with my
brother into the active ministry, I was conscious of conflicting emotions.
On the one hand, I was glad to go in obedience to God, and on the other I
hesitated to take the first step. Besides the natural human shrinking from
taking the first step, I knew how Mother would feel about my going, and
felt bad to grieve one who had been so kind to me. You must understand,
however, that Mother's feeling about my going into gospel work was very
different from Father's opposition of which I have already spoken.

At the time I broke the news to Mother, she was going through a severe
trial. It was about a week after I had my talk with Jeremiah. "Mother,"
said I, "if you had a child that had been afflicted with a disease that had
baffled the skill of all the physicians she had consulted, and finally one
physician undertook the case and performed the cure with the consideration
that your child should go and work for him whenever and wherever he wished;
would you let the child go?" Mother said, "I know just what you mean. If
nothing else will do, you may go." "Mother, as I go out into an unfriendly