"Arter a while in comes a Britisher.

"'Waiter,' says he, 'how far is it to the Falls?'

"'Little over a half a mile, Sir.'

"'Which way do you get there?'

"'Turn to the right, and then to the left, and then go
a-head.'

"Rufe heard all this, and it kinder seemed dark to him;
so arter cypherin' it over in his head a bit, 'Waiter,'
says he, 'ain't them the Falls of Niagara, I see there?'

"'No, Sir.'

"'Well, that's tarnation all over now. Not the Falls?'

"'No, Sir.'

"'Why, you don't mean to say, that them are ain't the
Falls?'

'"Yes, I do, Sir.'

"'Heaven and airth! I've come hundreds of miles a puppus
to see 'em, and nothin' else; not a bit of trade, or
speckelation, or any airthly thing but to see them cussed
Falls, and come as near as 100 cents to a dollar, startin'