thin th' wan or two that rises fr'm th' bosom iv Martin Dooley. Says I,
give thim th' chanst to make histhry an' lave th' young men come home
an' make car wheels. If Chamberlain likes war so much 'tis him that
ought to be down there in South Africa peltin' over th' road with ol'
Kruger chasin' him with a hoe. Th' man that likes fightin' ought to be
willin' to turn in an' spell his fellow-counthrymen himsilf. An' I'd
even go this far an' say that if Mack wants to subjoo th' dam
Ph'lippeens----"

"Ye're a thraitor," said Mr. Hennessy.

"I know it," said Mr. Dooley, complacently.

"Ye're an anti-expansionist."

"If ye say that again," cried Mr. Dooley, angrily, "I'll smash in ye'er
head."




UNDERESTIMATING THE ENEMY


"What d'ye think iv th' war?" Mr. Hennessy asked.

"I think I want to go out an' apologize to Shafter," said Mr. Dooley.

"I'm like ivrybody else, be hivins, I thought war was like shootin'
glass balls. I niver thought iv th' glass balls thrainin' a dinnymite