th' Dutch. Th' Fr-rinch gin'ral in command iv th' Swedish corps lost his
complexion an' has been sint to th' hospital, an' Mrs. Gin'ral
Crownjoy's washin' that was hangin' on th' line whin th' bombardmint
comminced is a total wreck which no amount iv bluin' will save. Th'
deserters also report that manny iv th' Boers ar-re outspannin',
trekkin', loogerin', kopjein' an' veldtin' home to be dyed, f'r'tis not
known whether lyddite is a fast color or will come out in th' wash."

"In spite iv their heavy losses th' Boers kept up a fierce fire. They
had no lyddite, but with their other divvlish modhern explosives they
wrought thremenjous damage. F'r some hours shells burst with turr'ble
precision in th' British camp. Wan man who was good at figures counted
as manny as forty-two thousan' eight hundhred an' sivin burstin' within
a radyus iv wan fut. Ye can imagine th' hor-rible carnage. Colonel C. G.
F. K. L. M. N. O. P. Hetherington-Casey-Higgins lost his eye-glass tin
times, th' las' time almost swallowin' it, while ye'er faithful
corryspondint was rindered deaf be th' explosions. Another Irish
rig'mint has disappearded, th' Twelve Thousandth an' Eighth, Dublin
Fusiliers. Brave fellows, 'tis suspicted they mistook th' explosion of
lyddite f'r a Pathrick's Day procession an' wint acrost to take a look
at it."

"Murdher, but 'tis dhreadful to r-read about. We have to change all our
conciptions iv warfare. Wanst th' field was r-red, now 'tis a br-right
lyddite green. Wanst a man wint out an' died f'r his counthry, now they
sind him out an' lyddite dyes him. What do I mane? 'Tis a joke I made.
I'll not explane it to ye. Ye wudden't undherstand it. 'Tis f'r th'
eddycated classes."

"How they're iver goin' to get men to fight afther this I cudden't tell