'twas th' first night iv th' horse show. I don't know what Lem Stiggins
iv Kansas, marked down in th' roll, Private in th' Twintieth Kansas,
Severely, I don't know what Private Severely thinks iv it. An' I wuddent
like to know till afther Thanks-givin'."

"Don't be blatherin'," said Mr. Hennessy. "Sure ye can't ixpict people
to be inthrested f'river in a first performance."

"No," said Mr. Dooley, "but whin th' audjeence gives th' comp'ny an
encore it ought at laste to pretind that it's not lavin' f'r th' other
show."




KENTUCKY POLITICS


"If th' Presidint doesn't step in an' interfere," said Mr. Hennessy,
"they'll be bloodshed in Kentucky."

"What business is it iv Mack's?" Mr. Dooley protested. "Th' war's in
this counthry, man alive! If 'twas in Boolgahria or Chiny or on th' head
waters iv th' Bozoon river in th' sooltynate iv--iv--I dinnaw what--
thin'twud be th' jooty iv our gover'mint f'r to resolve that th'
inthrests iv humanity an' civilization an' th' advancement iv th' human
kind required that we shud step in an' put a head on wan or both iv th'
parties. But they'se no reason now, me boy, f'r us to do annything, f'r
these are our own people, an' 'tis wan iv their rights, undher th'
martial law that's th' foundation iv our institutions, to bate each