Kentucky an' Jack Chinn, th' raypublican has been so long in th'job an'
has become so wedded to it that ye cuddent shake him out with a can iv
joynt powdher. It seems to him that there niver was a time whin he
wasn't gov'nor."

[Illustration]

"Th' dimmycrats get together an' call on that learned an' incorruptible
joodishary that's done so much to ilivate the party into high office,
an' whin th' dure iv th' saloon is locked they say 'Bill,' they say,
'we're bein' robbed iv our suffrage,' says they. 'Th' hated enimy has
stolen th' ballot an' thrampled on th' r-rights iv th' citizens,' says
they, 'in the southern part iv th' state faster thin we cud undo their
hellish wurruk in our own counties,' they says. 'They now hol' th'
jobs,' they say, 'an' if they stay in they'se no more chanst iv iver
ilictin' a dimmycrat again thin there wud be iv ilictin' a raypublican
if we got in,' they say. 'Do ye mix us up a replevy writ an' we'll go
over an' haul th' chair fr'm undher thim,' they say."

"So th' judge passes out a replevy writ be vartue iv th' thrust that's
been reposed in him be th' comity and gives it to Colonel Jack Chinn,
wan iv th' leaders iv th' Kentucky bar, f'r to serve. An' Colonel Jack
Chinn ar-rms himsilf as becomes a riprisintative iv a gr-reat coort
goin' to sarve a sacred writ iv replevy on th' usurper to th' loftiest
or wan iv th' loftiest jobs that th' people iv a gloryous state can
donate to a citizen. He sthraps on three gatlin' guns, four revolvers,
two swords, a rifle, a shot gun, a baseball bat, a hand grenade (to be
used on'y in case iv thirst), a pair iv handcuffs, brass knuckles, a
sandbag, a piece of lead pipe in a stockin', a rabbit's foot f'r luck, a
stove lid an' a can iv dinnymite, an' with siveral iv his cillybrated