knives behind his ears, in his hair, between his teeth, an' gleamin'
fr'm his pockets, he sallies forth on his sacred mission, an' gives th'
writ to a clerk to sarve, an' stays in town himsilf, where he
successfully resists all charges iv th' bartinder. Th' clerk goes up to
th' state house, where th' gov'nor is ixicutin' th' high thrust reposed
in him be himsilf, behind breastworks an' guarded be some iv th' most
desp'rate an' pathriotic ruffyans in th' state. 'What have ye there?'
says his ixcillincy, with his hand on th' sthring iv a dinnymite gun. 'A
writ fr'm th' coort bouncin' ye fr'm ye'er high office,' says th' clerk.
'As a law abidin' citizen,' says his ixcillincy, 'an' an official
enthrusted be th' people iv this glad state with th' exicution iv th'
statutes I bow to th' law,' he says. 'But,' he says, 'I'll be hanged if
I'll bow to th' decree iv anny low browed pussillanimous dimmycratic
coort,' he says, 'Sojers,' he says, 'seize this disturber iv th' peace
an' stick him in th' cellar. Jawn,' he says, 'ar-rm ye'ersilf an'
proceed to th' raypublican timple iv justice in Hogan's saloon an' have
th' stanch an' upright Judge Blood prepare some good honest writs iv th'
party iv Lincoln an' Grant,' he says. 'In th' manetime, as th'
constitootion has lost its sights an' the cylinder don't revolve,' he
says, 'I suspind it an' proclaim martial law,' he says. 'I want a law,'
he says, 'that mesilf an' all other good citizens can rayspict,' he
says. 'I want wan,' he says, 'that's been made undher me own personal
supervision,' he says. 'Hand-made, copper distilled, wan hun-dherd an'
tin proof martial law ought to be good enough for anny Kentuckyan,' he
says. So th' next ye hear th' sojers ar-re chasin' th' coorts out iv th'
state, th' legislature is meetin' in Duluth, Pinsacola, an' Bangor,
Maine, an' a comity iv citizens consistin' iv some iv the best gun
fighters iv th' state ar-re meetin' to decide how th' conthroversay can
be decided without loss iv blood or jobs. While they're in session th'
gov'nor is in contimpt iv coort, the coorts ar-re in contimpt iv th'