mintions nobody higher in their prisence thin th' steward iv th'
capitol. An' he niver makes a speech but whin he wants to smoke, an'
thin he moves that th' sinit go into executive session. Thin he's a rale
sinitor. I've seen it manny's th' time--th' boy orator goin' into th'
sinit, an' comin' out a deef mute. I've seen a man that made speeches
that was set to music an' played be a silver cornet band in Ioway that
hadn't been in Congress f'r a month befure he wudden't speak above a
whisper or more thin an inch fr'm ye'er ear."

"Do ye think Hiven sint us to th' Ph'lippeens?" Mr. Hennessy asked.

"I don't know," said Mr. Dooley, "th' divvle take thim."




PUBLIC GRATITUDE


"This man Dewey--," began Mr. Dooley.

"I thought he was ye'er cousin George," Mr. Hennessy interrupted.

"I thought he was," said Mr. Dooley, "but on lookin' closer at his
features an' r-readin' what th' pa-apers says about him, I am convinced
that I was wrong. Oh, he may be a sicond cousin iv me Aunt Judy. I'll
not say he ain't. There was a poor lot, all iv them. But I have no close
rilitives in this counthry. 'Tis a way I have of savin' a little money.
I'm like th' good an' gr-rateful American people. Th' further ye stay
away fr'm thim th' more they like ye. Sicond-cousin-iv-me Aunt-Judy-