th' whole Spanish fleet. An' he r-run away. I tell ye, it makes me tired
to think iv th' way we abused th' Spanyards not long ago. Why, say, they
done a lot betther thin this fellow Dewey, with his forty or fifty men-
iv-war an' this gran' nation, miles away, standin' shoulder to shoulder
at his back. They niver tur-rned over their property to their wives.'
'Yes,' says wan man, 'Dewey was a cow'rd. Let's go an' stone his house.'
'No,' says the crowd, 'he might come out. Let's go down to th' v'riety
show an' hiss his pitcher in th' kinetoscope.' Well!'"

"Well what?" demanded Mr. Hennessy.

"Well," Mr. Dooley continued, "I was on'y goin' to say, Hinnissy, that
in spite iv me hathred iv George as a man--a marrid man--an' me contimpt
f'r his qualities as a fighter, in spite iv th' chickens he has stole
an' the notes he has forged an' th' homes he has rooned, if he was to
come r-runnin' up Archey road, as he might, pursooed be ladies an'
gintlemen an' th' palajeem iv our liberties peltin him with rotten eggs
an' ol' cats, I'd open th' dure f'r him, an' whin he come in I'd put me
fut behind it an' I'd say to th' grateful people: 'Fellow-citizens,' I'd
say, 'lave us,' I'd say. 'They'se another hero down in Halstead Sthreet
that's been marrid. Go down an' shivaree him. An' you, me thrusted
collagues iv th' press, disperse to ye'er homes,' I'd say. 'Th' keyholes
is closed f'r th' night, I'd say. An' thin I'd bolt th' dure an' I'd
say, 'George, take off ye'er coat an' pull up to th' fire. Here's a
noggin' iv whisky near ye'er thumb an' a good seegar f'r ye to smoke.
I'm no hero-worshiper. I'm too old. But I know a man whin I see wan, an'
though we cudden't come out an' help ye whin th' subscription list wint
wild, be sure we think as much iv ye as we did whin ye'er name was first
mintioned be th' stanch an' faithful press. Set here, ol' la-ad, an'
warrum ye'er toes by th' fire. Set here an' r-rest fr'm th' gratichood