home. An' he r-rode up Fifth Avnoo between smilin' rows iv hotels an'
dhrug stores, an' tin-dollar boxes an' fifty-cint seats an' he says to
himsilf: 'Holy smoke, if Aggynaldoo cud on'y see me now.' An' he was
proud an' happy, an' he says: 'Raypublics ar-re not always ongrateful.'
An' they ain't. On'y whin they give ye much gratichood ye want to freeze
some iv it, or it won't keep."

"'Tis unsafe f'r anny man alive to receive th' kind wurruds that ought
to be said on'y iv th' dead. As long as George was a lithograph iv
himsilf in a saloon window he was all r-right. Whin people saw he cud
set in a city hall hack without flowers growin' in it an' they cud look
at him without smoked glasses they begin to weaken in their devotion.
'Twud've been th' same, almost, if he'd married a Presbyteeryan an'
hadn't deeded his house to his wife. 'Dewey don't look much like a
hero,' says wan man. 'I shud say not,' says another. 'He looks like
annybody else.' 'He ain't a hero,' says another. 'Why, annybody cud've
done what he did. I got an eight-year-old boy, an' if he cudden't take a
baseball club an' go in an' bate that Spanish fleet into junk in twinty
minyits I'd call him Alger an' thrade him off f'r a bicycle,' he says.
'I guess that's r-right. They say he was a purty tough man befure he
left Wash'n'ton.' 'Sure he was. Why, so-an'-so-an'-so-an'-so.' 'Ye don't
tell me!' 'Is there annything in that story about his beatin' his poor
ol' aunt an' her iliven childher out iv four dollars?' 'I guess that's
straight. Ye can tell be th' looks iv him he's a mean man. I niver see a
man with squintin' eyes an' white hair that wudden't rob a church!'
'He's a cow'rd, too. Why, he r-run away at th' battle iv Manila.
Ivrybody knows it. I r-read what Joe What's-His-Name wrote--th' br-rave
corryspondint. He says this feller was sick at his stummick an' retired
befure th' Spanish fire. Why, what'd he have to fight but a lot iv ol'
row-boats? A good swimmer with sharp teeth cud've bit his way through