bur-rdcage out iv what remains iv th' cow-I was detarmined to probe into
th' wondhers iv science, an' I started fair f'r th' machinery hall.
Where did I bring up, says ye? In th' fr-ront seat iv a playhouse with
me eye glued on a lady iv th' sultan's coort, near Brooklyn bridge,
thryin' to twisht out iv hersilf."

"No, Hinnissy, they'll be manny things larned be Americans that goes to
Paris, but they won't be about th' 'convarsion iv boots into food, or
vicey varsa,' as Hogan says. An' that's r-right. If I wint over there
'tis little time I'd be spindin' thryin' to discover how th' wondhers iv
mechanical janius are projooced that makes livin' so much more healthy
an' oncomfortable. But whin I got to Paris I'd hire me a hack or a dhray
painted r-red, an' I'd put me feet out th' sides an' I'd say to th'
dhriver: 'Rivolutionist, pint ye-er horse's head to'rds th'home iv th'
skirt dance, hit him smartly, an' go to sleep. I will see th' snow-plow
show an' th' dentisthry wurruk in th' pa-apers. F'r th' prisint I'll
devote me attintion to makin' a noise in th' sthreets an' studyin' human
nature.'"

"Ye'd be a lively ol' buck over there," said Mr. Hennessy, admiringly.
'"Tis a good thing ye can't go."

"It is so," said Mr. Dooley. "I'm glad I have no millyonaire rilitives
to be depindent on me f'r support whin th' show's over."




CHRISTIAN JOURNALISM