weather map. 'Twas gran'. Th' editor, it seems, Hinnissy, wint into th'
editoryal rooms iv th' pa-aper an' he gathered th' force around him fr'm
their reg'lar jobs in th' dhrug stores, an' says he, 'Gintlemen,' he
says, 'tell me ye'er plans f'r to enoble this here Christyan publication
f'r to-day!' he says. 'Well,' says th' horse rayporther, 'they's a
couple iv rabbits goin' to sprint around th' thrack at th' fair
groun's,' he says. I think 'twud be a good thing f'r rellijon if ye'd
lind me tin that I might br-reak th' sin-thralled bookys that come down
here fr'm Kansas City f'r to skin th' righteous,' he says. 'No,' says
th' editor, he says, 'no horse racin' in this paper,' he says. ''Tis th'
roonation iv th' young, an' ye can't beat it,' he says. 'An' you, fair-
haired youth,' he says, 'what d'ye do that makes ye'er color so good an'
ye'er eye so bright?' 'I,' says th' la-ad, 'am th' boy that writes th'
fightin' dope,' he says. 'They'se a couple iv good wans on at th' op'ra
house to-night, an' if his Spiklets don't tin-can 'tis like findin'
money in an ol' coat that--' 'Fightin',' says th' editor, 'is a crool
an' onchristyan spoort,' he says. 'Instead iv chroniclin' th' ruffyanism
iv these misguided wretches that weigh in at th' ringside at 125 poun's,
an' I see in a pa-aper I r-read in a barber shop th' other day that
Spike's gone away back--what's that I'm sayin'? Niver mind. D'ye go down
to th' home iv th' Rivrind Aloysius Augustus Morninbinch an'interview
him on th' question iv man's co-operation with grace in conversion. Make
a nice chatty article about it an' I'll give ye a copy iv wan iv me
books.' 'I will,' says th' la-ad, 'if he don't swing on me,' he says.
The editor thin addhressed th' staff. 'Gintlemen,' he says, 'I find that
th' wurruk ye've been accustomed to doin',' he says, 'is calc'lated f'r
to disthroy th' morality an' debase th' home life iv Topeka, not to
mintion th' surroundin' methrolopuses iv Valencia, Wanamaker, Sugar
Works, Paxico an' Snokomo,' he says. 'Th' newspaper, instead iv bein' a
pow'rful agent f'r th' salvation iv mankind, has become something that