those occasions of sin in the beginning, and, if I fell, to bring
me quickly out of them. If the devil had assailed me openly
then, I believe I should never have fallen into any grievous sin;
but he was so subtle, and I so weak, that all my good resolutions
were of little service--though, in those days in which I served
God, they were very profitable in enabling me, with that patience
which His Majesty gave me, to endure the alarming illnesses which
I had to bear. I have often thought with wonder of the great
goodness of God; and my soul has rejoiced in the contemplation of
His great magnificence and mercy. May He be blessed for
ever!--for I see clearly that He has not omitted to reward me,
even in this life, for every one of my good desires. My good
works, however wretched and imperfect, have been made better and
perfected by Him Who is my Lord: He has rendered them
meritorious. As to my evil deeds and my sins, He hid them at
once. The eyes of those who saw them, He made even blind; and He
has blotted them out of their memory. He gilds my faults, makes
virtue to shine forth, giving it to me Himself, and compelling me
to possess it, as it were, by force.

15. I must now return to that which has been enjoined me. I say,
that if I had to describe minutely how our Lord dealt with me in
the beginning, it would be necessary for me to have another
understanding than that I have: so that I might be able to
appreciate what I owe to Him, together with my own ingratitude
and wickedness; for I have forgotten it all.

May He be blessed for ever Who has borne with me so long! Amen.