with anybody in the monastery in that way, and I never did it;
for our Lord held me back. It seemed to me--for I considered
many things carefully and of set purpose--that it would be a very
evil deed on my part, wicked as I was, to risk the credit of so
many nuns, who were all good--as if everything else I did was
well done! In truth, the evil I did was not the result of
deliberation, as this would have been, if I had done it, although
it was too much so.

5. Therefore, I think that it did me much harm to be in a
monastery not enclosed. The liberty which those who were good
might have with advantage--they not being obliged to do more than
they do, because they had not bound themselves to
enclosure--would certainly have led me, who am wicked, straight
to hell, if our Lord, by so many remedies and means of His most
singular mercy, had not delivered me out of that danger--and it
is, I believe, the very greatest danger--namely, a monastery of
women unenclosed--yea, more, I think it is, for those who will be
wicked, a road to hell, rather than a help to their weakness.
This is not to be understood of my monastery; for there are so
many there who in the utmost sincerity, and in great perfection,
serve our Lord, so that His Majesty, according to His goodness,
cannot but be gracious unto them; neither is it one of those
which are most open for all religious observances are kept in it;
and I am speaking only of others which I have seen and known.

6. I am exceedingly sorry for these houses, because our Lord must
of necessity send His special inspirations not merely once, but
many times, if the nuns therein are to be saved, seeing that the
honours and amusements of the world are allowed among them, and