that which they do to be good, and so believe, but without really
believing; for they have within themselves something that tells
them it is wrong.

9. Oh, what utter ruin! utter ruin of religious persons--I am not
speaking now more of women than of men--where the rules of the
Order are not kept; where the same monastery offers two roads:
one of virtue and observance, the other of inobservance, and both
equally frequented! I have spoken incorrectly: they are not
equally frequented; for, on account of our sins, the way of the
greatest imperfection is the most frequented; and because it is
the broadest, it is also the most in favour. The way of
religious observance is so little used, that the friar and the
nun who would really begin to follow their vocation thoroughly
have reason to fear the members of their communities more than
all the devils together. They must be more cautious, and
dissemble more, when they would speak of that friendship with God
which they desire to have, than when they would speak of those
friendships and affections which the devil arranges in
monasteries. I know not why we are astonished that the Church is
in so much trouble, when we see those, who ought to be an example
of every virtue to others, so disfigure the work which the spirit
of the Saints departed wrought in their Orders. May it please
His Divine Majesty to apply a remedy to this, as He sees it to be
needful! Amen.

10. So, then, when I began to indulge in these conversations, I
did not think, seeing they were customary, that my soul must be
injured and dissipated, as I afterwards found it must be, by such
conversations. I thought that, as receiving visits was so common