in many monasteries, no more harm would befall me thereby than
befell others, whom I knew to be good. I did not observe that
they were much better than I was, and that an act which was
perilous for me was not so perilous for them; and yet I have no
doubt there was some danger in it, were it nothing else but a
waste of time.

11. I was once with a person--it was at the very beginning of my
acquaintance with her when our Lord was pleased to show me that
these friendships were not good for me: to warn me also, and in
my blindness, which was so great, to give me light. Christ stood
before me, stern and grave, giving me to understand what in my
conduct was offensive to Him. I saw Him with the eyes of the
soul more distinctly than I could have seen Him with the eyes of
the body. The vision made so deep an impression upon me, that,
though it is more than twenty-six years ago, [3] I seem to see
Him present even now. I was greatly astonished and disturbed,
and I resolved not to see that person again.

12. It did me much harm that I did not then know it was possible
to see anything otherwise than with the eyes of the body; [4] so
did Satan too, in that he helped me to think so: he made me
understand it to be impossible, and suggested that I had imagined
the vision--that it might be Satan himself--and other
suppositions of that kind. For all this, the impression remained
with me that the vision was from God, and not an imagination;
but, as it was not to my liking, I forced myself to lie to
myself; and as I did not dare to discuss the matter with any one,
and as great importunity was used, I went back to my former
conversation with the same person, and with others also, at