different times; for I was assured that there was no harm in
seeing such a person, and that I gained, instead of losing,
reputation by doing so. I spent many years in this pestilent
amusement; for it never appeared to me, when I was engaged in it,
to be so bad as it really was, though at times I saw clearly it
was not good. But no one caused me the same distraction which
that person did of whom I am speaking; and that was because I had
a great affection for her.

13. At another time, when I was with that person, we saw, both of
us, and others who were present also saw, something like a great
toad crawling towards us, more rapidly than such a creature is in
the habit of crawling. I cannot understand how a reptile of that
kind could, in the middle of the day, have come forth from that
place; it never had done so before, [5] but the impression it
made on me was such, that I think it must have had a meaning;
neither have I ever forgotten it. Oh, the greatness of God! with
what care and tenderness didst Thou warn me in every way! and how
little I profited by those warnings!

14. There was in that house a nun, who was related to me, now
grown old, a great servant of God, and a strict observer of the
rule. She too warned me from time to time; but I not only did
not listen to her, but was even offended, thinking she was
scandalized without cause. I have mentioned this in order that
my wickedness and the great goodness of God might be understood,
and to show how much I deserved hell for ingratitude so great,
and, moreover, if it should be our Lord's will and pleasure that
any nun at any time should read this, that she might take warning
by me. I beseech them all, for the love of our Lord, to flee