from such recreations as these.

15. May His Majesty grant I may undeceive some one of the many I
led astray when I told them there was no harm in these things,
and assured them there was no such great danger therein. I did so
because I was blind myself; for I would not deliberately lead
them astray. By the bad example I set before them--I spoke of
this before [6]--I was the occasion of much evil, not thinking I
was doing so much harm.

16. In those early days, when I was ill, and before I knew how to
be of use to myself, I had a very strong desire to further the
progress of others: [7] a most common temptation of beginners.
With me, however, it had good results. Loving my father so much,
I longed to see him in the possession of that good which I seemed
to derive myself from prayer. I thought that in this life there
could not be a greater good than prayer; and by roundabout ways,
as well as I could, I contrived make him enter upon it; I gave
him books for that end. As he was so good--I said so
before [8]--this exercise took such a hold upon him, that in five
or six years, I think it was, he made so great a progress that I
used to praise our Lord for it. It was a very great consolation
to me. He had most grievous trials of diverse kinds; and he bore
them all with the greatest resignation. He came often to see me;
for it was a comfort to him to speak of the things of God.

17. And now that I had become so dissipated, and had ceased to
pray, and yet saw that he still thought I was what I used to be,
I could not endure it, and so undeceived him. I had been a year
and more without praying, thinking it an act of greater humility