with my brother how we could become martyrs. We settled to go
together to the country of the Moors, [4] begging our way for the
love of God, that we might be there beheaded; [5] and our Lord, I
believe, had given us courage enough, even at so tender an age,
if we could have found the means to proceed; but our greatest
difficulty seemed to be our father and mother.

5. It astonished us greatly to find it said in what we were
reading that pain and bliss were everlasting. We happened very
often to talk about this; and we had a pleasure in repeating
frequently, "For ever, ever, ever." Through the constant
uttering of these words, our Lord was pleased that I should
receive an abiding impression of the way of truth when I was yet
a child.

6. As soon as I saw it was impossible to go to any place where
people would put me to death for the sake of God, my brother and
I set about becoming hermits; and in an orchard belonging to the
house we contrived, as well as we could, to build hermitages, by
piling up small stones one on the other, which fell down
immediately; and so it came to pass that we found no means of
accomplishing our wish. Even now, I have a feeling of devotion
when I consider how God gave me in my early youth what I lost by
my own fault. I gave alms as I could--and I could but little.
I contrived to be alone, for the sake of saying my
prayers [6]--and they were many--especially the Rosary, to which
my mother had a great devotion, and had made us also in this like
herself. I used to delight exceedingly, when playing with other
children, in the building of monasteries, as if we were nuns; and
I think I wished to be a nun, though not so much as I did to be a