martyr or a hermit.

7. I remember that, when my mother died, [7] I was about twelve
years old--a little less. When I began to understand my loss, I
went in my affliction to an image of our Lady, [8] and with many
tears implored her to be my mother. I did this in my simplicity,
and I believe that it was of service to me; for I have by
experience found the royal Virgin help me whenever I recommended
myself to her; and at last she has brought me back to herself.
It distresses me now, when I think of, and reflect on, that which
kept me from being earnest in the good desires with which
I began.

8. O my Lord, since Thou art determined to save me--may it be the
pleasure of Thy Majesty to effect it!--and to bestow upon me so
many graces, why has it not been Thy pleasure also--not for my
advantage, but for Thy greater honour--that this habitation,
wherein Thou hast continually to dwell, should not have
contracted so much defilement? It distresses me even to say
this, O my Lord, because I know the fault is all my own, seeing
that Thou hast left nothing undone to make me, even from my
youth, wholly Thine. When I would complain of my parents, I
cannot do it; for I saw nothing in them but all good, and
carefulness for my welfare. Then, growing up, I began to
discover the natural gifts which our Lord had given me--they were
said to be many; and, when I should have given Him thanks for
them, I made use of every one of them, as I shall now explain, to
offend Him.