heart from the pangs which this persuasion would infallibly produce.

I could form no stable resolutions. I seemed unalterably convinced of
the necessity of separation, and yet could not execute my design. When I
had wrought up my mind to the intention of explaining myself on the next
interview, when the next interview took place my tongue was powerless. I
admitted any excuse for postponing my design, and gladly admitted any
topic, however foreign to my purpose.

It must not be imagined that my health sustained no injury from this
conflict of my passions. My patroness perceived this alteration. She
inquired with the most affectionate solicitude into the cause. It could
not be explained. I could safely make light of it, and represented it as
something which would probably disappear of itself, as it originated
without any adequate cause. She was obliged to acquiesce in my imperfect
account.

Day after day passed in this state of fluctuation. I was conscious of
the dangers of delay, and that procrastination, without rendering the
task less necessary, augmented its difficulties. At length, summoning my
resolution, I demanded an audience. She received me with her usual
affability. Common topics were started; but she saw the confusion and
trepidation of my thoughts, and quickly relinquished them. She then
noticed to me what she had observed, and mentioned the anxiety which
these appearances had given her She reminded me of the maternal regard
which she had always manifested towards me, and appealed to my own heart
whether any thing could be said in vindication of that reserve with
which I had lately treated her, and urged me, as I valued her good
opinion, to explain the cause of a dejection _that was too
visible_.