bet your boots I lit out right after it; I chased
it up one side and down the other, I knocked
down five or six wimmin clerks, and I upset
five or six bargain counters; I took a wrastle
out of that bald-headed feller, and jist then
some one commenced to holler "CASH" and
I sed yep, that's what I'm after. Wall I
chased that durned little baskit round 'til I
got up to it, and when I did I was right thar
whar I started from. Gee whiz, I never felt
more foolish in all my life.
----

Prosperity--Consists principally of contentment; for
the man who is contented is prosperous, in his own way
of thinking, though his neighbors may have a different
opinion.
--Punkin Centre Philosophy.



Uncle Josh's Comments on the Signs Seen in New York

I SEEN a good many funny things when I wuz
in New York, but I think some of the sines what
they've got on some of the bildins' are 'bout as
funny as anything I ever seen in my life.

I wuz walkin' down the street one day
and I seen a sine, it sed "Quick Lunch."