Wall, I felt a little hungry, so I went into
the resturant or bordin' house, or whatever
they call it, and they had some sines hangin'
on the walls in thar that jist about made me
laff all over. I noticed one sine sed "Put
your trust in the Lord," and right under it
wuz another sine what sed "Try our mince
pies." Wall, I tried one of them, and I
want to tell you right now, if you eat many
of them mince pies you want to put your
trust in the Lord.

Wall, I got out of thar, and I walked
along fer quite a spell, and finally I cum to
a store what had a lot of red, white and blue,
and yeller and purple lights in the winder.
Wall, I stopped to look at it, cos it wuz a
purty thing, and they had a sine in that winder
that jist tickled me, it sed, "Frog in
your throat 10C." I wouldn't put one of
them critters in my throat fer ten dollars.

Wall, jist a little further up the street I
seen another sine what sed "Boots blacked
on the inside." Now, any feller what gits
his boots blacked on the inside ain't got
much respect fer his socks. I git mine
blacked on the outside. Then I cum to a
sine what had a lot of 'lectric lights shinin'
on it, and I could read it jist as plain as day;