SOUSA, John P., American bandmaster who wrote books and shot
pigeons between march compositions.

SPENCER, Herbert, a scientist who believed the human race
degenerated from monkeys, and established the theory that only
the survivors are the fittest.

SUFFRAGETTE, T. H. E., a woman who lived years ago in Great
Britain and the United States, who believed that noble man was
incompetent, incomplete, incompatible, incongruent,
inconsistent, and an incubus in his incurious incumbency. She
was the daughter of Too Much Time and Too Much Money. Early
days spent at home. She married and began her career. S.'s
first weakness was a club. Then she fell to the level of a
speech maker and a flag carrier. The fanatical desire to see
her name in print led to the adoption of strenuous press-agent
tactics. She died fighting. Ambition: To offset her husband's
vote on election day. Recreation: Parading, windows, bombs,
letter boxes, English ministries, and a string of etcs.
Epitaph: Requiescat In Pace. (Also see Mrs. Pankhurst and
Hope.)

SUFFRAGETTE, T. H. E. Anti-, still lives, but is dying fast.
Belongs to the moss-back half of femininity. Has serious
objection to use of her head, except for decorative purposes.
Was not averse to press notices and looked with envy on the
achievements of the suffragettes in this direction. Being
denied high office in their ranks because of lack of adequate
cerebration, she set up a rival organization where brains were
not requisite. Entertains the utterly absurd idea that all