women, except herself, belong at home with their husbands and
children. Where they belong in the absence of these, deponent
sayeth not. Ambition: Continued parasitic existence.
Recreation: Manufacturing evidence and tagging on behind.
Address: Wherever there are suffrage meetings. Epitaph: Alas!
The World Does Move And She Was "Agin It."

SULZER, William, the kettle who called Murphy black. Also the
governor of New York who enjoyed the unprecedented honor of
retiring from office in order that he might be considered a
progressive. Motto: Be sure your sins will get you out.
Ambition: To be a martyr to the claws. Diet: Tigers.
Epitaph: You May Air, You May Perfume Your Clothes As You
Will, But The Smell Of Impeachment Will Cling To You Still.



T

TAFT, William Howard, a former fat, and last Republican,
president of the United States who worshipped the trusts, the
Constitution, the Supreme Court, and Theodore Roosevelt. The
love he bore the latter resulted in his election. The two
brothers quarreled because Bill would not step aside and let
Teddy run things all over again. The two brothers fought and
another ran away with the election. Principal events during
T.'s administration: Roosevelt's trip, The Outlook, Oyster Bay,
Standard Oil, That election. Ambition: 1916. Recreation:
Golf, messages to Congress. Address: Cincinnati, O. Epitaph:
How Sharper Than A Serpent's Tooth It Is To Have A Thankless