* * * * *

FISCALITIES.

Let no one read this title--rascalities. Fiscalities are very different
things. (_That is to say, out of Wall street_.) PUNCHINELLO always had a
strong liking for fiscal subjects, and even now he would be glad to
write a fiscal history of the United States, provided he was furnished
with specimens of all the various coins, bank-notes, greenbacks, bonds,
and such mediums of exchange that have been in circulation from colonial
times until now. (_That is to say, he'd like very much to have the coins
and things, but if any one takes up this offer, and wants to keep his
coins, a money-order for a corresponding amount, or ordinary bills, in a
registered letter, will be entirely satisfactory_.) But as he can not
write a book this week, he desires to draw the attention of his readers
to the fact that fiscal expansion ought to be the great end of man.
(_That is to say, it often is, but in a different way from what
_PUNCHINELLO _means_.) For instance, look at Colonel FISK, of the
glorious Ninth! Had not his vigorous intellect been closely applied to
the great questions of fiscal economy, is it likely that the steady
expansion of his corporeal being would have given such a weight to his
wisely-planned movements? (_That is to say, if he hadn't got rich he
wouldn't have got so fat, and then buildings would not tremble when he
drills_.) A man who is perfectly proportioned in a fiscal point of view,
can call himself a monarch of the world. The elements will own they are
his servants, and the seasons will mould themselves to suit his will.
(_That is to say, he can have one hundred and fifty fine young women to
dance the Devil's Torchlight Cotillion in his own theatre, and he can sit
there, if he wants to, all alone and look at them just as long as he