_Dull Old Gentleman (doubtfully.)_ "I hope so; but that infernal drum
makes such a noise that I can hardly think. Who is that tall, awkward
woman with the turned-up nose, who plays 'DIANA?'"

_Theatrical Person._ "Hush, GRANT WHITE is sitting right behind you.
That is Miss MARKHAM, and she is considered to be very handsome. She is
a little awkward in clothes, but she'll get used to them in time."

_The third act begins. Every body, from the Comic Pirate down to a
Dramatic Writer who is in the play, go to a ball at the Palace Gardens._
MOSQUITO, _disguised as a Gipsy, dances and tells cheerful fortunes.
Fonseca proposes for_ DIANA'S _hand and roars the subject over in a
private conversation with her father, while he and the old gentleman
stand on opposite sides of the garden. Every body quarrels with every
body else. The Comic Pirate challenges_ LEON _to fight a duel, intending
to murder him._ MOSQUITO, _backed by the_ REGENT _of_ ORLEANS _and the
entire court, stops the duel and denounces_ FONSECA. _The latter tries
to murder her and is shot by the Comic Pirate. Then explanations take
place, by which every body is proved to be the father or daughter of
every body else, and the play is ended by an appropriate suggestion from
the_ REGENT, _that the entire party should engage in a congratulatory
dance._

_Dull Old Gentleman._ "Well, I must say I don't understand any thing
about it. I can't even make out the different actors. Who is the rather
pretty, fat woman, dressed like a boy. She don't act a bit, but she
dances nicely."

_Theatrical Person._ "Why, that is LYDIA THOMPSON. The play was written
for her, you know."