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Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 08, May 21, 1870 by Various
page 40 of 71 (56%)
decorate, and if they didn't, they wouldn't.

Mr. DRAKE said Mr. DAVIS'S hands were dripping with loyal gore.

Mr. DAVIS said he would reply to that insinuation the first leisure week
he had. In the meantime he contented himself with hurling the foul
slander back into Mr. DRAKE'S teeth, if Mr. DRAKE had any.

Lest Mr. DAVIS should execute his threat of making a speech, the Senate
referred the subject.

Then there was a first-class wrangle about giving pensions to Mrs.
LINCOLN and Mrs. RAWLINGS. It was represented that Mrs. LINCOLN was
given up to riotous living upon pumpernickel and ganzebroost, at a
German watering-place, and that there was a rumor afloat that unless
Congress pensioned her at once, she might marry a German prince. Mr.
SHERMAN, on behalf of the Finance Committee, represented that German
princes were notoriously expensive and impecunious, and that it would be
much cheaper to pension Mrs. LINCOLN alone than to pension her and a
German prince together. He submitted some statements, showing what it
had cost Great Britain to have German princes marrying into the Royal
family. The Senate, therefore, incontinently passed the bill.

Mr. Morrill introduced a neat little swindle, which does equal credit to
his hand and heart, providing that the United States should have the
free use of all patents granted under it. He said this was to discourage
that pernicious class of men, the inventors. In many branches of
industry, such as arms, the Government was the only customer of the
inventor. In those cases, the inventor's gray hairs would be brought
immediately to the grave. And inasmuch as the Government had a finger in
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