forms a very important part of every transaction. We gain much by
quickness, and lose much by slowness. Just as in darts, the
strength of the iron head remains the same, but there is an
immeasureable difference between the blow of one hurled with the
full swing of the arm and one which merely drops from the hand, and
the same sword either grazes or pierces according as the blow is
delivered; so, in like manner, that which is given is the same, but
the manner in which it is given makes the difference. How sweet,
how precious is a gift, when he who gives does not permit himself
to be thanked, and when while he gives he forgets that he has
given! To reproach a man at the very moment that you are doing him
a service is sheer madness; it is to mix insult with your favours.
We ought not to make our benefits burdensome, or to add any
bitterness to them. Even if there be some subject upon which you
wish to warn your friend, choose some other time for doing so.

VII. Fabius Verrucosus used to compare a benefit bestowed by a
harsh man in an offensive manner to a gritty loaf of bread, which a
hungry man is obliged to receive, but which is painful to eat. When
Marius Nepos of the praetorian guard asked Tiberius Caesar for help
to pay his debts, Tiberius asked him for a list of his creditors;
this is calling a meeting of creditors, not paying debts. When the
list was made out, Tiberius wrote to Nepos telling him that he had
ordered the money to be paid, and adding some offensive reproaches.
The result of this was that Nepos owed no debts, yet received no
kindness; Tiberius, indeed, relieved him from his creditors, but
laid him under no obligation. Tiberius, however, had some design in
doing so; I imagine he did not wish more of his friends to come to
him with the same request. His mode of proceeding was, perhaps,
successful in restraining men's extravagant desires by shame, but