Than Mumbo Jumbo or Prester John,
And all for want of this sine qua non;
Whereas, with a horn that never offends,
You may join the genteelest party that is,
And enjoy all the scandal, and gossip, and quiz,
And be certain to hear of your absent friends; -
Not that elegant ladies, in fact,
In genteel society ever detract,
Or lend a brush when a friend is blacked, -
At least as a mere malicious act, -
But only talk scandal for fear some fool
Should think they were bred at CHARITY school.
Or, maybe, you like a little flirtation,
Which even the most Don Juanish rake
Would surely object to undertake
At the same high pitch as an altercation.
It's not for me, of course, to judge
How much a deaf lady ought to begrudge;
But half-a-guinea seems no great matter -
Letting alone more rational patter -
Only to hear a parrot chatter:
Not to mention that feathered wit,
The starling, who speaks when his tongue is slit;
The pies and jays that utter words,
And other Dicky Gossips of birds,
That talk with as much good sense and decorum
As many Beaks who belong to the Quorum.

"Try it--buy it--say ten and six,
The lowest price a miser could fix: